Ask yourself what you need, and make sure you get it

A couple of weeks ago, I came across a girl online who had posted about coping with anxiety and depression, and she said her therapist had told her, “every day, ask yourself what you need, and make sure you get it”. I thought this was a really good quote.

And I don’t think you need to struggle with a mental illness in order to make use of these words. I think it’s a good mantra, something everyone can do every day in order to improve their quality of life.

Take myself, for example. I don’t struggle much with my mental health, not compared to what I have done in the past anyway, not including the occasional panic attack and ever-present anxiety regarding my thesis, but that’s temporary. I started asking myself what I need several times a day. Yesterday, my needs were warm clothes and coffee. One I sorted out before I left the house, the other I fixed while I was in uni. This morning at 7am I asked myself what I needed, and I didn’t even answer it before I fell asleep and slept for another two hours.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a “good girl”. I’ve done what I was expected or supposed to do, always finished homework and assignments on time, did my chores, got up early, never ditched school (apart from that last half of a math class we never talk about)… I was a “good girl”. Which makes me feel bad now, when I’ve reached the year of my life that is supposed to be entirely about my thesis, and I don’t always get up early and I don’t always go to uni, I don’t even work on it every single day! And that makes me feel like I’m not a good girl anymore, because that’s what I’m supposed to do.

But I think that as a human being your number one task is to take care of yourself. If you’re not feeling good and living a good life, you can’t be a good influence on others and you can’t get anything done and you’ll end up walking vicious circles and nothing will ever get any better. So therefore, I encourage you all to take care of yourselves, and to ask yourselves what do YOU need today, and when you have the answer make sure you get it. And make sure others do, too.

I hope you all have a very good day!

~ Julie


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