Thoughts About The World

It is currently 2.30pm on a Tuesday afternoon. So far, it’s not been one of my most productive days. Yesterday wasn’t either, but that’s okay. Not all days can be your best days, or even good days. That’s okay.

In my study room in uni we are 9 students, but on average 3-6 are here simultaneously. Four of us had a rather lengthy discussion about how the world is going at the moment. I’m not going to write a political entry here, I’m sure there are plenty of entries about that for those who want to read it. I just want to write out a few thoughts and feelings I’m having, as that’s the kind of blog I write.

Sometimes, it feels like the Upside Down from Stranger Things is a safer place to be than our current world. At least, you know what to expect there.

Sometimes it feels like we’ve been sucked into the world of a dystopian novel; 1984, Brave New World, and The Hunger Games come to mind.

Sometimes I wonder why on earth we learn about history in school if we’re not supposed to prevent repeating the bad stuff and continue the good stuff. But then I remember that the chapter about WW2 in my US History book can’t even be compared with the chapters (yes, plural) about it in all the history books I’ve had in school in Norway – which I’ve heard people from other European countries say as well. I’m not saying ours are better or tell a truer kind of truth – only that the American one I had had an extremely American perspective on things and ignored a lot of other things. How can some Americans say that they don’t understand how Hitler was elected in Germany in 1932, and then not see what they have done in 2016?

The only reason Grindelwald was not the worst person in the Harry Potter universe is because of Voldemort. It can be discussed who is who…

Sometimes it’s really difficult to believe that everything the media reports is actually happening. I think that’s one of the wonderful things about the human brain – it’s not designed to take everything in because if it did we would not be able to function. I think that’s at least one of the reasons why everything feels a bit surreal while at the same time it feels like nothing has changed even though everything has changed…

What are you feeling and thinking about everything that’s happening in the world right now? PLEASE – constructive comments and discussion only, hateful comments or attacks on me or other people commenting will not be accepted and will be deleted. Thank you.

~ Julie

From Android to iPhone – initial thoughts

I haven’t made the switch permanently yet. But my phone is in for repair and it’s been so long I doubt I’ll actually get it back, and my old phone that I was using in the meantime is hopeless in every aspect, so I borrowed an iPhone 4S from a friend, and since I’ve now learned how to use it a little bit I thought I’d write my thoughts on it.

Firstly, I’d like to bring up the reasons people have given me to try and persuade me to make the switch for years: It’s easier to use! It only has one button! It’s easier to use! When you have a mac it’s definitely easier to use!

Okay so here’s the deal. I don’t have a mac, a macbook or any kind of apple computer, and I will not be getting one in the near future either. They are simply too expensive. And I like windows and my laptop and my old laptop that I still use too. I don’t want a mac. So that argument simply does not do it for me. The fact that it only has one button (not counting volume and silence buttons on the side) has only caused trouble for me so far. If I write too long of a message on WhatsApp, I cannot see the message I’m responding to, because the keyboard is in the way and I can’t find a way to close the keyboard without closing the app, because I can’t tap or scroll in the message because the message I’ve written is to long for me to be able to see the message above. That’s why I liked the little backspace button on the right side of the center button on my Samsung phones (I have had four).

As for the easier to use part… I actually don’t think it is. I think it’s exactly the same, bar what I just said about the button and WhatsApp. Side note: can anyone tell me how I can simply close the keyboard when writing?? I use the center button to exit open apps. I have to click “back” in the top left to go back instead of a button to the bottom right. Downloading apps is the same. Using the apps is the same (except Pokemon Go, which I cannot get going)…

I have very few issues with the iPhone, but I wouldn’t say it’s “better” either. It’s obviously better than the phone I had which didn’t work, but I wouldn’t say it’s better than my Samsung phones when they work the way they should.

I’m gonna have to keep using this and hopefully I’ll hear what happens to my phone, whether I get it back or I get my money back, and by the time the latter happens, if it happens, I will hopefully have used this phone long enough to have an opinion on whether or not I actually want one.

~ Julie

It gets better, I promise!

It’s not yet noon and I’m already exhausted. What a great way to start a blog entry, right? Definitely inspires the readers to go on! Bear with me though.

I had a doctor’s appointment today, had to run around to four different pharmacies, and ended up going back home instead of to uni. Now I’m sat, cross-legged in bed, with my laptop not quite balancing unless I keep my hands down, tears are drying on my cheeks. But they’re good tears.

Yesterday I posted the same entry in two different groups on facebook, asking for help managing time and balancing thesis work with taking care of myself (the latter seems to never be prioritized). I didn’t expect much, but I’ve got an enormous amount of response. Some more helpful than others, naturally, but the fact that someone actually sat down and wrote two, three, four paragraphs in response to my post, it’s quite overwhelming. I definitely got a few good tips and tricks that I will try out, starting today, after lunch, which I will eat after posting this entry.

I also wrote a really long ramble in a group chat to my two best friends not long ago. The amount of good words, hearts, and virtual hugs… I almost feel like I don’t deserve it. But when it comes to mental health – I have a history of being a bit destructive. And now it’s affecting my physical health, and possibly my future, so I need to turn things around.

I am, however, the queen of procrastination, so I think before I can do anything, I will have a nap!

~Julie

6.15

I need to find a way to actually get out of bed when my alarm goes off. Actually, I need to find a way to not check my phone and scroll through everything that’s happened on twitter and facebook since I fell asleep. I know the first thing everyone would suggest – to put my alarm away from my bed so that I have to get up to turn it off. I’ve tried that before. Doesn’t go so well. I usually end up going back and sit on my bed anyway. I suppose I could try putting my phone away, since I have a separate alarm clock, but most nights I fall asleep on the phone to my boyfriend and I can’t do that when my phone is somewhere else, so I really don’t know what to do. I’ve even sat and watched youtube videos on how to get up early without finding anything useful.

Writing a master’s thesis is all-consuming. It’s the first thing I think about in the morning. The last thing I think about at night. Sometimes my stomach clenches and I can’t breathe for worrying about this damn paper. And it’s not even like I’m that far behind. My supervisor said he didn’t expect me to start writing until this semester, and I started writing on the 9th of January, the first day of the semester, and I’ve spent 8 days actually writing, which if you think about it means I’ve had normal weekends and one day off writing a week, and I spent most of last week having migraines, and I’ve been to a workshop twice, and at least one day I was working but not writing. I feel like I’m making excuses. But I have nothing to make excuses for.

This morning I was thinking  about this all-consumingness of writing a thesis while attempting to curl my hair or something (the result is debatable, my hair doesn’t take curls very well). How do people do it? How do they live normal lives, with friends and boyfriends and girlfriends, shopping, going to the gym, traveling, enjoying life, laughing… How do they do it, without being sucked into the black hole that is thesis writing, without succumbing to fear, depression, panic… How? I really need to know.

Life is Strange

Good evening, or morning, or day to you, reader, wherever you may be!

It’s been almost a month since my last update. It’s been 18 months since I started blogging on WordPress, and I can almost count the amount of posts I have. I’m still not comfortable with the platform, haven’t quite figured out how to use it I suppose. I used to blog on another platform, a Norwegian one, even though I wrote in English (got a lot of critique for that…), but I stopped blogging in the autumn of 2012, and in the almost three years it took me to start missing it the platform had changed so much I would have had to learn everything all over again, which is why I decided to start from scratch on a different one, used by a wider variety of people. I decided to start in the summer, when I thought I would have more time to learn, but I worked a lot. Then another school year came and went, and I’m not sure whether I posted a single blog post last summer, and if so, it can’t have been more than one or two. Then autumn flew by, and Christmas arrived, closely followed by New Year’s Eve and a two-plus weeks long visit from my boyfriend. By the time I’m writing this, I’ve spent more than half of my days in my new place with him, hence it is strange to be here by myself.

I’ve been working on my Master’s Thesis this past week, the past two weeks actually. It’s due in May, and 30.000 words are a lot of words to write. I’m currently approximately halfway through writing my literature review, which is on Code-Switching in writing – when Norwegians use English words and phrases when blogging in Norwegian, to be specific. It’s made me miss blogging. And then I get discouraged by not being comfortable with this platform, which means I don’t blog, and then forget about it. But I’m here now. And I want to try and write a little more often. I don’t have anything specific to write about… Sometimes I just really miss writing.

I talked to my grandfather today, for 13 minutes and 46 seconds. I think that’s a new record. He sounded more like his old self than he has done since grandmother passed away. He talked more, and the conversation felt less forced. It was a really wonderful thing, even though it’s making my eyes water to think about it in retrospect.

I read a book in November, called These Are The Days by Markus Almond. It was about what happens if you write a letter to a stranger every day for 100 days. Blogging is a little bit like writing a letter to a stranger. You never know who’s going to read what you write, if anyone at all. Sometimes I wonder, why would anyone have any interest in reading my rambles about my life? But then I think, there are people who do this for a living, whether it is in writing or in video or audio, and why couldn’t I be one of them? To answer my own question – I’m not consistent enough in my writing for one. I don’t publish anything close to frequently, whatsoever. I don’t have any skills in editing blog themes, or tech skills of any sort. I guess I could learn. But I’m not particularly motivated for one, and I don’t have the time.

So it’s just me and my laptop keys, rambling, to everyone and no one in particular. I hope you’ve had or are having or will have a good day, a good weekend. And I hope your 2017 is going great so far. That isn’t sarcasm. I really do hope these things.

Best,

Julie