On Stressful Living Situations

When I moved to the city to attend university, I started renting a room in a house. The owners live on the ground and second floors, and in the basement there are three bedrooms with a shared kitchen and bathroom. I’ve lived here more or less happily for three years, but that all changed last August, when I returned from my summer job in my home town…

I won’t say I’ve been BFFs with the six different girls who have lived here the previous three years, but these two are really no fun. One of them slams the doors all the time, worse so when she sees me – I’ll partially take the blame for that, being the author of some passive aggressive notes around the place, but it’s been going on for months and I don’t understand how she’s not tired of it yet… I’m treating this whole situation as a bully type of thing where I’m refusing to react as that’s probably what she wants, I don’t know.

The other has had pre-drinks here several times now, without giving notice. The first time I took me completely by surprise as she’d had a total of one visitor over  several months. I hoped it was a one-time thing. Turned out not to be. Last night it happened again. On a Wednesday, for crying out loud! At least the last time was on a weekend. I was boiling inside. Well, partially. The other part of me is finding it really difficult to react because I have zero energy left to spend on these girls.

I have a bit of situational anxiety, and I hate confrontation. However, my boyfriend, two best friends, and mom all told me I had to talk to her and tell her that I should be notified when she’s having people over. So I managed to find the courage to do that not long ago. Doing that was worse than presenting my project in literature class this morning. Essentially, I told her I would appreciate being notified so that I could choose to be elsewhere when she’s having people over. She said she would, but I doubt it, really… And now I’m sat here, with my heart beating incredibly hard and fast,  the most uncomfortable I’ve been all day.

After my summer job as a guide at a historic property I’ve gotten a lot better at talking to people, presenting things. But in a situation like today’s presentation, I just take on a role and put up a shield between me and the people. I’m incapable of doing that at home. I can’t pretend to be someone else here. I’m just me, and just me is not a very brave person, just me is vulnerable and awkward and hates confrontation. Just me is on the edge of tears. Just me is not sure how she’s supposed to handle this permanent situation for much longer. Just me wants out.

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From Gryffindor to Ravenclaw but really about Change

When I joined Pottermore a few years ago, I was very excited to join my Hogwarts house. All the tests I’d taken online had been so predictable, and all the answers to all the questions were written in a way so that you could easily see which statement belonged to which house, and you could really just pick and get the house you wanted regardless of your true answer to the question. But on Pottermore it was different. I was torn between wanting Gryffindor and Ravenclaw, having always seen myself as a clever person and a sort of Hermione myself, whom the sorting hat had seriously considered putting in Ravenclaw. I was happy when I got Gryffindor, feeling like it confirmed my feelings of being Hermione-like.

A friend of mine from Twitter is a Slytherin, and we have often talked about how Slytherins have been stereotyped as mean and bad people. I assure you, that is not the case. She is one of the sweetest people I know. But trust me – she will stand up for herself. And her house. When I purchased a necklace of Ravenclaw’s diadem late last year, she told me she always thought of me as a Ravenclaw, even though I was sorted into Gryffindor. I had only gotten the necklace because I found it beautiful, and I already had the time turner, deathly hallows, and wands.

The other day when I was in university one of my friends went on Pottermore and got resorted. Like me, she had been a Gryffindor from the start. Now, however, she was sorted into Ravenclaw. Being a person who is a lot like me, she was happy with this. We both value wisdom and knowledge and cleverness.

This made me curious. Would I still be a Gryffindor if I were to be resorted now? Or would I be something else? I feel like I have changed a lot over the past few years. Naturally, as I’ve gone from being a girl in her late teens to a woman in her mid twenties, I’ve grown. I’m a different person now. I’ve changed.

And this got me thinking. If I’ve changed in a few years, what’s to stop people from changing in many years? Just because someone was sorted into a house when they were 11, who’s to say they wouldn’t be sorted into a different house if they were to be resorted at 20, or 30, or even later in life? Everyone in the Harry Potter universe seem very true to the personality traits of the houses they were sorted into as kids, but is it not possible to change completely in a few or many years? Personally, I may not have changed that much. Perhaps I was always close to being a Ravenclaw. Much like Hermione. Perhaps I’ve just developed, rather than drastically changed. But there are people who do change drastically, over shorter or longer time, and I was just wondering… What about them?