I want the human contact that being in a relationship brings.
I don’t mean sex. I’m doing just fine without sex.
I want holding hands in a crowded street in the morning when people are rushing to work, or on the bus in the late afternoon when everyone’s exhausted. I want the comfort of having someone there with me, that I’m not alone in the crowd.
I want to make and eat dinner with another human being. To try new dishes. To fuck up completely and end up ordering pizza. To have a conversation with someone instead of sitting in silence in front of my laptop.
I want to be with a person who will give me a hug and stay hugging for a moment before they let go, at least once a day. Both for their sake and for mine. Someone who wants to do that.
I want someone I can fall asleep with, not sleep with. I want someone who will fall asleep next to me, a tangled mess of arms and legs and hair and t-shirts and blankets. Someone who will hold me. Someone I can hold.
I want intimacy. Not sex.